Pope Nazi’s Take on Human Dignity

Pope Nazi took a break from eating Me to tell the world that some scientific progress has “shattered” human dignity. The science listed in that category includes embryonic stem cell research and artificial insemination. As usual, Pope Nazi wasn’t taking into consideration the thoughts of Me and My Dad. So here’s a letter to him:

Dear Pope Nazi,

This is Jesus. Yes, that’s right: Jesus. Surprised to hear from Me? Why? You claim to hear Me all the time. But apparently not this time.

See, I have a problem with your comments on human dignity. Let’s take embryonic stem cell research, for example. Since you claim to hear Me, you’d know that I love abortion. After all, no one aborts embryos and fetuses at the rate of My Dad and I. And stemming from the research comes the issue of cloning. My sheep tends to think I’m against cloning, but that isn’t true either: My Dad and I are also the prime cause of twins, triplets, and so on. So if We didn’t like cloning, We wouldn’t do it at all.

Then there’s artificial insemination. Not sure what your beef is on this issue, bud. But considering We are anti-sex (and you are, too), I don’t see why sticking a needle up a woman’s vag is such a bad thing. Much better than a hairy penis.

If you want to talk about shattering human dignity, I’d like to bring up a number of other issues. Like molesting altar boys. Or moving molesters to other parishes. And not telling the police. And paying off victims so they be quiet.

Oh, wait, that stuff is OK. Right?

So shut the fuck up, Nazi. Leave the talkin’ to Me.

In My name,


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