The New Deadly Sins

Okay, so the Vatican (or “The Vat of Filth,” as My Dad and I call it) came out with some new sins. I don’t know if they’re deadly or not, but they are a bunch of crap. They list things like the environment, drugs, genetic manipulation, and a crapload of other bullshit. I have a problem with these people.

lazinesssignFirst of all, they sit there in their mansion, holding their golden chalices, and EAT ME. What the Hell? What right do they have to say others can’t partake in some good ole weed every now and then. After all, My Dad made weed. He didn’t make golden chalices. “Golden chalices don’t grow on trees,” My Dad would tell Me.

Not to mention the whole pedophilia problem Catholicism has. I mean, shit, get your damn priests off of My children, would you? It’s rude to be fucking the little boys before I can. Jesus first, assholes!

And where do they get off (pun not intended) on saying genetic manipulation is a sin? My Dad does that all the time. Makes twins, retards, and brown people. If those aren’t sins, then I don’t see how We wouldn’t allow you guys to do that, too. Hell, you should make more retards; they’re kind of fun to watch running around trying to bite their own ears. If it wasn’t for their entertainment value, We would have aborted them in utero.

So smoke up, make some retards, and shit on your neighbor’s house. It’s all in good fun, and that’s what life is all about.

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