Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted. But don’t you worry: it isn’t because I’ve lost interest or because I’ve run out of things to write. It’s actually because I hate you. Nawwww, just kidding. I’ve just been stoned, drunk, and sex-crazed lately, and a few prostitutes took Me hostage because I apparently looked like an old pimp of theirs. I managed to persuade them I wasn’t him… …even though I was. SLAM!
Now on with the good shit….
So apparently the Pope is a woman. Go fucking figure considering he walks around in a robe all day. He’s only a slightly less attractive Judy Garland, if Judy Garland was an 80 year old walking clitoris spewing bullshit about the poor while living in a mansion, and claiming world peace while his followers are troop-supporting sheep.
And take that cross of your neck, old man. When I come back from Heaven, I certainly don’t want to see my hole-riddled body on that fucking piece of wood. I mean, shit, could you be any more offensive to GOD?
And what the fuck is up with his hair? He looks like that hot chick in There’s Something About Mary. Only.. you know.. less hot. And all that stuff I said before about the poor, mansions, and troops.
Thanks, Catholics, for giving Me and My Dad something to laugh about each and every day. You know, other than the absurdities brought on by brown people and liberals.