Church of Jesus Fucking Christ

In the past few days, the blog has really hit it off. Thousands of hits, talk of it on message boards, blogs, and the so on. So why am I disappointed? Yesterday, the Sabbath, saw a bit less visitors than the previous days. My sheep have obviously lost their way.

It’s somewhat surprising that the site sees many hits at about midnight through 3 AM. My only conclusion, then, is that the congregation of the Church of Jesus Fucking Christ must be reading the site between scenes of pornography. Which wouldn’t be so bad, but the screams of “Oh, God!” from a pornstar can hardly be considered a substitution for coming to service (no pun intended).

So after all of your five billion services this morning, I went out for Chinese food (I like to be diverse, so sue Me). Right there on the counter was a sign that said I could receive 10% off of my order if I brought in a church bulletin. Well fuck Me, I went to all of those masses and forgot the fucking bulletin. And, even worse, the Church of Jesus Fucking Christ doesn’t have one. Yet.

So in the coming weeks, look for some enhancements by yours truly, Jesus Fucking Christ, including a Sabbath bulletin. And I recommend everyone in the congregation uses the bulletin to get discounts at other diverse institutions that somehow think being a sheep warrants a discount.

Come back next Sabbath (don’t give Me that “Is it Saturday or Sunday?” bullshit) or else I’ll be pissed off again. Praise be to the fucking God.