Church of Jesus Fucking Christ

I hate all of those liberal fucking hippies trying to induce gun laws in America. I mean Jesus Fucking Christ, they always try to cite the lie that I would be anti-gun since I talk about love so much. But they forget that I only love people I.. well.. love. I really fucking hate the people I hate. And those people I would like to shoot.

Here’s a picture of Me posing with My awesome fucking gun. Look at those cocksuckers in the back scared of My gun. That’s power, My friends.

Killing is fucking cool. Feel the steel in your hands as the bullet comes out of the gun and rips through their flesh as they scream out in pain and fucking die. Hell, killing anything is cool. Men scream, women faint, kids fly back like they were hit with a fucking bus. Hell, animals are pretty cool, too. Especially if they suffer for a while, so you can go up to them and beat them with the butt-end.

But back to the motherfucking hippies: why the fuck would I be anti-gun? I mean look at the huge fucking gun I have. Having such a big gun easily adds like three feet on to the size of your cock. And women love big cock. Remember those guys in the back who are scared of My gun? They’re also scared of My cock. And they’re jealous because they have little Roman wieners. Poor things.

Plus, the people with guns usually kill brown people, which is super neat. Nooses were cool for a bit, but then I started the NRA along with some of My Ku Klux Klan friends to shoot more brown people. Fuckin’ a.

So the next some one of those liberal hippies in their prepubescent voices tries to argue with you about gun laws, tell them Caucasian Jesus loves His huge gun, and then whip out your huge dick and t-bag his forehead. Cocksuckers.