Church of Jesus Fucking Christ

So the blind people in America are making a big stink because hybrid cars don’t make enough noise for them to safely cross the street. I may hate those hippie liberal fucks driving the hybrid cars, but I hate the blind even more. And even worse, why they fuck are they crossing the street? They can’t fucking see! My Father and I hate blind people. If you don’t believe Me, just keep reading.

All you need to read to see how much My Dad and I hate blind people is look at this picture where I’m poking the fuck out of his kid’s eyeball. Sure, he cried for a little while. But My boisterous laugh drowned it out. And then I damned him to Hell.

Or you could just read the Bible:

“The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart.” -Deuteronomy 28:28

“The hand of the Lord is upon thee, and thou shalt be blind. … And immediately there fell on him a mist and a darkness; and he went about seeking some to lead him by the hand.” -Acts 13:11

“Whosoever … hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. … Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries.” -Leviticus 21:17-23

And one time I even played a joke on a group of children by making them blind and then molesting them: “Let their eyes be darkened, that they see not; and make their loins continually to shake.” -Psalm 69:23 …Who says you can’t have fun with kids now-days?

So shut the fuck up, you fucking blind people. And if it’s any consolation to you (as if you can even fucking read this, aaaah hahaha), I’ll blow the fuck out of both you and those cocksucking hybrid-driving hippies each time you run into each other.