Church of Jesus Fucking Christ

In a world full of suicide bombing towelheads, abortion clinic bombing evangelical nutcases, and umm.. fat Buddhists, it’s becoming increasingly important to make sure that My true message is heard. That’s right: I want you to spread the Good News of My Father and I. If you don’t, I’ll have Satan buttfuck you into being a gay.

But first things first: here’s latest Church of Jesus Fucking Christ bulletin (PDF). It’s full of holiness and begging; you know, the usual church stuff. So enjoy and make sure to pass it around to all of your friends and use it to get your discounts at local businesses. I would also like to encourage you to send this bulletin to every church and other religious organization that begs for your participation money. If you get one of their mailings, at the very least put “Return to Sender” and write this site’s URL underneath. Hopefully we will open their eyes to the truth!

But, as I said, it’s becoming very important that everyone knows My values and message to the world. Why? Because I’m an arrogant and spiteful son of a bitch that will throw you down to the homoerotic brothel otherwise known as Hell if you don’t spread eagle My Word.

Plus, it’s fun to let people know that you’re part of the congregation of the Church of Jesus Fucking Christ.