Church of Jesus Fucking Christ

Throughout the ages I’ve had many sheep do many things to show Me and others just how faithful they are. Some have taken a vow of silence, chastity, or of fondling little boys, while others have had their balls cut off or even sacrificed their own lives in My name. But with vasectomies and killing on the rise, this just isn’t good enough anymore. So let me suggest a brand new way you can appropriately show Me and others just how much you love Me and My Dad.

Eat a queer fetus. There’s no better way to show Me that you love Me while also conforming to your wonderfully peaceful Christian faith than by ridding the world of evil faggotness through eating homosexual fetuses. The way I figure, when the fetus chooses to accept the gay gene, the doctor can go in, see that it’s a little cocksucking faggot, take it out, have a priest or pastor bless it, and let the mom and dad eat it right there. Don’t even cook it; just eat it alive. Fuck that little homo for choosing to be gay. Asshole.

Once you eat all of the gay fetuses, there won’t be any gays left to spread their evil sperm all over the world (or guys’ faces). And until all of the gays are gone, My Dad and I will be unhappy. So I suggest getting a head start on your newfound activity and start fucking each other so some gays will inevitably be made. And then you can eat them. Yum.