Church of Jesus Fucking Christ

You know, every time I see another statue, painting, or picture of Me, I always have some sort of shit around My fucking head. I don’t have a shit clue what it is, whether it’s megadandruff, hairgel/cum, a halo, or a wooden stake from Me trying to kill Myself. Whatever it is, I want you to stop putting that shit around My head.

But seriously, take a look at any picture of Me. Now look at My head. Not like the nun in My last post, you cocksucking faggots; I mean the one on My fucking neck. In this picture I seem to have three magical penises all gravitating towards My head. What the fuck, people? Why would you think to put penises going into My head?

While I’m left wondering about the headwear, another question is what the Hell is up with My goatee? That’s some mad shit, right there. Rob Zombie would be jealous of that shit.

But then the fucking Christian who made this doll fucked up My sweet facial hair by adding a homo shawl. Seriously, do you think I ever wore a shawl? Especially one that’s a fruity blue and looks like a frilly doily?

Stop making Me out to be a pussy. Take the shawl off, cut out the penises, and add a big fuckin’ splotch of cock hair. That’ll show Me as the Son of God that I am.