Church of Jesus Fucking Christ

So it has come out that apparently some of the crosses My sheep buy were made in sweatshops in China. First of all, I forgot to give a shit. And secondly, I think that’s great. Those Chinamen should count their lucky fuckin’ stars that I died on that fuckin’ cross and gave them a God damned job. Without Me they would still be in a rice field somewhere mistaking a stalk of rice for their dong, no pun intended.

So you have all of these slant-eyes in a factory somewhere literally sitting there gluing My injury-riddled body on to a piece of bamboo or whatever the fuck wood they have over there. And they’re working 15 hours a day for about 15 cents American. That’s not abuse, My friends; that’s capitalism, and everyone knows that Caucasian Jesus is a capitalist.

Hell, I think they’re getting off easy.  If I was the boss of a bunch of chinks, I would hover over them and slap them with My penis anytime they speak in that oriental jibberish.  Fuck that shit.  “Ching chong, dong wong,” ::SMACK:: Mushroom tattoo for you, you fucking Jap.  Or whatever the fuck you are.

But seriously, now, I don’t see anything wrong with this as long as the crosses go to America where My nice, white friends can pick up a nice, lead-based cross to display proudly in their homes.  And Bill Anderson, some fat, white bastard in America, agrees: “While we occasionally hear this issue raised, and believe there are factories in China where human rights are violated, we believe claims that products sold through CBA member stores are made in these shops are irresponsible and unfounded.”  In non-Christian terms he’s saying, “Smoke my pole, you fucking liberal hippies!”

Peace be to you and the cross-making bamboo coons.