Oral Roberts.. No, Not Blowjobs
Written November 28th, 2007 by Caucasian Jesus 28 11 2007So the shit-faced president of Oral Roberts University claims I told him to step down. If you remember, he’s stepping down because of having sex with his brother’s wife or some shit. I wouldn’t doubt if he masturbates to birthing videos on YouTube. But, regardless, like I said, he claims I spoke to him about some shit. Which I did, but he’s lying about what I said.
For instance, he claims I told him to step down as president for his actions. But, in reality, I don’t see anything wrong with it. Hell, she was probably hot. And his brother probably deserved it. Especially if his name was Oral, like his dad. Or if it was Anal. I wouldn’t put it past that fucked up family.
Instead, I did whisper in his ear that he should stop masturbating to YouTube videos. He hasn’t held up to his side of the bargain, as he’s jacking off right at this moment. To this video:
Holy fucking shit, he needs a life.
Subscribe in a reader
Jesusfuckingchrist,
I just happened upon your site. I used to think you kinda sucked, but after reading your blog… you’re kinda cool.
I hope you don’t mind, but I was thinking that it would be pretty cool if, after my dog dies and I get a new one, I named it “Jesus Christ Son Of God”
What do you think?
Thanks, sheep.
When your dog dies, you should first eat it. I hear the Chinese do this, and they’re pretty smart. So do that first.
When you get a new one, don’t name it “Jesus Christ Son of God” or else I’ll go Islamic on you. I might even rape your mouth. So don’t do that. Instead, name it something neat like “Phuc.” That’s Vietnamese. And, like I said, anything that’s related to slant-eyes is cool.
Peace be with you.