Silly Heteros, HIV is for Gays!

Another African Catholic bishop has come out against condoms by saying that they lead to the transmission of HIV. Not only that, but that European condom companies are intentionally putting HIV on the condoms. That’s pretty fuckin’ awesome. I like this measure, as it does two things at once: infects poor brown people (who the fuck needs them?) and also gets people to stop using condoms (since everyone knows Caucasian Jesus is a fan of the creampie).

Catholics take the view that all contraceptive use is a sin. That is, unless it’s birth control (which induces abortions), since that’s more convenient than other methods. But I can’t seem to remember which part of the Bible says, “Thou shalt not put rubber around your junk so you don’t jizz in your bitch.” Anyway, I’m not wholly against this measure.

Disapproving JesusWe all know that HIV transmission only goes to homos, and we want them out of our society. They’re all closet pedophiles and have huge sex parties, unlike heterosexuals. And plus, if we allow them to marry, then we have to allow dogs and cats and children and blacks to marry, too. Fuck that.

Plus, there’s the whole sanctity of marriage thing, too. While divorce between heteros is bad enough, imagine homo domestic disputes! You’re sitting there in your tamale sauce-stained wifebeater t-shirt from Walmart watching Cops, and suddenly there’s a leather-wearing bondage queen running around with his dick all hanging out while he’s trying to pull the hair off of his gay lover. Fucking sick.

I think a point these Catholics and even Christians in general forget is that My Dad and I put HIV on Earth on purpose. Putting it on a condom or spooging in your child’s butt a few days in a row won’t result in them getting AIDS unless We want them to. If We didn’t want them to, We would perform a much heralded miracle and keep them from getting AIDS. But We don’t. Read into it, motherfuckers.

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